Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Boys...will be boys?

In the last 6-9 months, I've noticed that David has become a lot more physical. Most of the time it's a happy physical. He likes to play hard, wrestle around, pretend fight, etc. The only time it's ever been negative is if he gets frustrated with Luke, he will sometimes lash out. But he hasn't done it to other kids, just his brother (who frustrates him to no end). And we have talked about it and talked about it.

Then David said something about preschool that caused me to ask the teacher how he's doing. Basically he said that a boy said to him, "My mom says I don't have to play with you. I don't have to do what other kids tell me to do." Which to me is what I would say to my kid if another kid were being a bad influence of some sort.

So the teachers said that it hasn't been a BIG problem, but that he has been somewhat physical at school. They said it's always in a playful manner, he's not being mean, but sitting in circle, for example, he'll play-bump into other kids, roll around, etc. She said that it had gotten better in recent weeks and they thought I had been talking to him about it. (But how could I have been if I didn't know it was happening?)

It's hard to hear anything other than, "Your child is the PERFECT student!"  I have to admit that I had to come home and compose myself, reminding myself that she did NOT say, "Obviously you have done something to cause this, and if you were a better parent, he would be a perfect student." *ahem*

So the questions on my mind are...what should I do? Is this a problem, for 4 year old boys to be very physical? Or is it only a problem to the extent that it disrupts school? Is this going to continue to be a problem in kindergarten and beyond? And again...what should I DO?

One suggestion that has come up from a few different people is martial arts. It really does make sense to me that to have some sort of controlled/appropriate outlet for his physical nature would help. And I know he would just love it. But I've been shocked at the pricetag. It's even more expensive than studio dance, which I thought was jaw-dropping. I just really don't see how we could swing it.

Since this came to my attention, I've noticed even more than usual what a sweetheart he is. He's really such a good kid. It's just that he wants to show you his love by pinning you to the floor.


Pam said...

Both of my boys play hard. Daniel in particular is quite physical and I have to constantly pull him up about hitting Jack or grabbing the dogs around their neck (that is actually a frightening scenario). I think it's perfectly normal Emily I really do. And yes martial arts are ridiculously expensive. I am considering a second-hand trampoline for the back yard - anything to wear him out!

Weed said...

My old neighbor took her kids to a martial arts program that didn't cost quite so much than the others around--I can't remember the name, so I just emailed to ask her. When she lets me know, I'll tell you the name.

Anonymous said...

From Dad -Sounds like me when I was a boy. I think he is perfectly normal.

Note from Sue - all of my grandsons like to punch and wrestle. Read "Wild at Heart" - a great Christian book about boys and men.