My son can poop with the best of them. I never imagined that one of my biggest challenges with one of my babies would be maintaining a poop-free environment, but this is a daily struggle for me.
At least once a day, without fail, David poops through his outfit. I'm talkin' soaked through, stinks the place, 15 minute clean-up job that makes Katy and I both moan, "OH, David!!" So I go through the ritual of stripping him down and trying not to destroy the environment with the number of wipes I am using. Then I rinse out his outfit and hang it shamelessly on the fence posts in the sunlight to remove the stain (has anyone tried this? It works perfectly for breastfed babies). Some days, I'm embarrassed to say, it looks like a laundromat in my front yard with all the clothes hanging out to dry. Ugh.
But once in a while, he skips a day. And that's when we know there's going to be trouble.
He did this one day when we were at the beach. The following day, Melanie and I had stayed back in the condo with him while everyone else was out playing, and he was sitting in the Bumbo seat on the kitchen floor. I heard him pooping (oh, yeah, you can hear it across the room), and when I went to pick him up, I started screaming for my sister's assistance. I'm not kidding you - there were puddles on the floor. Puddles. By the end of the clean-up effort, we had moved from horrified to hysterical, because you just have to laugh at poop like that.
Today brought another Poop-tastrophy. This one was a little more personal. I had just finished nursing him, and had him sitting on my lap while I was reading Katy a story next to me. I heard him get started, and had the wherewithall to unsnap his onesie so it wouldn't ooze out and soak his outfit. Brilliant! Tragedy averted. But then I decided to finish reading Katy's story before moving to the floor to change him. Suddenly, I felt something warm on my leg. I looked down, and to my horror - not only were my jeans soaked in poop, but it had run down onto the couch. I jumped up, "Oh, NO!" And Katy's going, "Oh, Bubby! Oh, David!! Dat's yucky!" So then I'm trying to clean him up and the whole time I'm chanting, "I just want to go change my pants. I need to go change my pants. Eww, eww, ewww..."
Brian said exactly what I thought he would say: "Aren't you glad we put off getting a new couch?"
The Five (#10 Slowly Getting Later Edition)
5 weeks ago
8 comments:
Though I am sure it was an icky experience, the way you tell the story makes it hilarious! --Susan
I've lost track of the number of times I've been pooped and thrown up on. Guess it just comes with the mommy territory. It still amazes me how I can stomach it when it is my kid, but it totally repulses me when it is someone else's. Did you get the couch clean?
I love the way you tell this story! It's such a yucky experience that only a parent can laugh about it. This happened once to us at a Chinese Buffet place. I ran to the restroom with Jack and had to wash him down in the sink. Horrified customers were coming in and crinkling their noses in disgust. I was mortified!
Me again. I keep meaning to say - you should change your profile picture now to include David. Just a thought.
Great title! Otherwise, way too much information for Oma. :-)
I LOVE the term pooptastrophe. I use it all the time. See also: poopsplosion.
The couch comment cracks me up because Matt would say the exact same thing!
Makes you wonder where all that was BEFORE the pooptastrophe...
Yeah, I don't want to think about that either!
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