First and second

On this New Year's Day, I've been thinking about how different this pregnancy is from the first.

First pregnancy: On any given day during the pregnancy, I could've told you exactly how far along I was. Ex: "I am 21 weeks, 3 days" or "I'll be 14 weeks on Thursday."

Second pregnancy: I keep losing track of my progress. When someone asks me how far along I am, I just tell them my due date. I know right now I'm somewhere between 28 and 30 weeks, which I think means I'm in my third trimester. Hm. How about that?

First pregnancy: Brian came with my to almost every doctor's appointment. We always went with a written list of questions, most of which could be answered with "That's completely normal" or "Don't worry about that."

Second pregnancy: Brian comes for ultrasounds only. For the others, after the headache of finding someone to watch Katy during my appointment, I'll be driving to the office and wonder, "wait, do I have any questions?" Sometimes I think of one, but most of the time I don't. I'm curious to hear my weight gain and the heartbeat, and then I'm on my way.

First pregnancy: I couldn't wait to start showing. I wanted everyone to know that I was pregnant as soon as possible. I wanted to be big. Soon.

Second pregnancy: I'm embarrassed when people ask when I'm due, especially when they look at Katy with wide eyes as they ask. Because I know they are thinking either, "woah, she's huge, how can she have 3 months to go?" or "wow, those kids will be close in age." Not that I care what people think, but I'm not anxious to get bigger sooner.

First pregnancy: I was so worried about every ache and pain. I was truly a nervous wreck. I was reading everything I could get my hands on about pregnancy, birth, and newborns. I took 3 different classes at the hospital before I delivered.

Second pregnancy: I'm much less anxious, assuming that most aches and pains are just par for the course. Brian says he hears about this pregnancy a lot less from me. I haven't read a thing, and the other day it occurred to me that we should probably take a hospital tour sometime, since our insurance is sending us to a different place.

First pregnancy: There was so much to physically get ready for the new arrival, and so many decisions to be made. What kind of car seat, stroller, crib, glider, nursing pillow, bottles, diapers, and pacifier will we use?

Second pregnancy: Those decisions are all made, and I hope New Baby is ok with it. We have some clean up and organization to do to get ready, but mostly we have what we need, it's just a matter of digging it out and dusting it off.

First pregnancy: I was so completely overwhelmed with worry about what life with a newborn would be like (and was truly blindsided by the reality of it when it came) that I didn't really enjoy the anticipation of meeting my firstborn child.

Second pregnancy: Having had the experience of falling head over heels in love with my daughter, I can't wait to meet my son. I can't wait to see what he looks like, what position he likes to be held in, what kind of eater he is, whether he likes to be swaddled, and what makes him smile the biggest. I know it will be hard again, the newborn stage. But I think with a little more perspective this time, I will enjoy that short time a little more.

First pregnancy: I think that if were truly honest with myself, I wanted to go into labor early. Not dangerously early, of course, but I really think that I was hoping for 3 or 4 weeks before my due date. I was completely ready, twiddling my thumbs for the last several weeks.

Second pregnancy: I hope I go until my due date, or at least within a few days of it. I want to enjoy the precious time I have with just one kid, and they will be close enough in age, it doesn't need to be any closer. Plus I want to have as much time as possible for nesting! I love nesting!

First pregnancy: Speaking of wanting to go early, it seemed like that 9 months dragged on and on...

Second pregnancy: I can't believe it, I'm in my third trimester! This baby is due in March! That's the month after next!! Must go clean and organize!!