So I know that my daughter is cute as a button, and that she's in a really adorable stage and that I should really enjoy her right now. And I do. But there's also something that's frustrating me, and I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas that might help.
Whenever Katy and I are home, and I am anywhere close to being in the same room with her, she wants me to be either on the floor playing with her or holding her. If I am not, screaming (of the bloody murder fashion) ensues. If I attempt to, say, make dinner, she stands at my feet, whining and pulling on my legs. This makes things like dinner difficult to accomplish. This has been a pattern for several weeks, but it's been particularly bad the past few days.
But here's the weird thing: whenever we are out of the house, whether it's the yard, the zoo, or even Target, she's completely fine. Totally, completely, fine. She's so distracted and interested in everything going on around her that she doesn't cling to me or get upset. Also, when she's at home and I'm not there, she's much better. Out of sight, out of mind.
Question #1: WHAT'S CAUSING THIS???? Here are my ideas (i.e. paranoias):
- We just started her on cow's milk - could she be allergic?
- She's had a diaper rash lately, is it hurting her that bad?
- Maybe she's teething (no reason to think that, but any fussy kid under the age of 2 might be teething, right?)
- Am I not paying her enough attention? (i.e. am i causing this?)
- Or is it just good old fashioned separation anxiety?
Question #2: HOW LONG WILL IT LAST? Please someone with older kids tell me that it never extends beyond 13 months. :)
Question #3: IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO MAKE IT BETTER? Should I pick her up every time, or will this just make it worse? Resign myself to having a 20 pounder on my hip at all times? Live at Target?
It's probably like every other baby challenge we've encountered so far: time is the best medicine. I'm sure in the future I'll long for the state when she wanted me to hold her.
6 comments:
Ellie is just in this stage now and she'll be 3 in August. If she doesn't get exactly what she wants or who she asks for, she will scream at the top of her lungs. I've started ignoring her and going about my business and that usually does the trick. Once she sees that I'm not paying attention to her, she calms down. Just remember, "This too shall pass!"
I have VIVID recollections of Lauren hanging on my legs as I was preparing dinner and other things you're describing. This didn't happen until around 14 or 15 months old, but Lauren walked a lot later than Katy. I think it was just a short-lived phase of "Oh, I'm somewhat independent now, but I still NEED MY MOMMY!" I just remember reasoning with her helped a lot. Like "I understand you want mommy to hold you right now, but I'm washing the dishes. I will hold you in five minutes." They understand more than you might think.
Having a child younger than Katy I can't be of any help.
I'm just commenting on the fact that yes, she IS cute as a button!
Colin is 2 and goes through spells with all sorts of undesireable behaviors. It will get better. Usually it gets better right before you get to your wit's end. So id sounds like you're due.
I don't remember how old Harper was, but we went through a similar stage. And it drove me crazy too. I remember yelling to Matt to come and remove her from my legs, but she would never stay with him. In fact, it was one of those stages that I had blocked out of my mind because it was so frustrating. I think you ignore it when you have to and just do a lot of deep breathing. She's getting old enough to learn that she can't have exactly what she wants all the time! I agree that she might be old enough for you to start telling her, "I have to do xyz and then I can play with you/pick you up/etc." Good luck; this too shall pass!
As an old Oma, I have a slightly different suggestion. Kids of all ages want to be where the action is. If you are cooking, they want to cook, too. SOMETIMES you can figure out a way to stand up to the counter and "help". One of two things happens. They learn to actually help you . . . or they get bored and go away. Either way, you win.
I also agree that kids understand "Mommy's busy. We'll play after dinner." Katy won't agree, maybe, but she probably gets it.
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