Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Thoughts on the last day of pregnancy

At the risk of sounding overly dramatic...

I am being induced tomorrow, early early in the am. I am having all KINDS of anxious and emotional thoughts today. Labor and delivery is such an overwhelming thing to anticipate. And in some ways, having had 3 very different experiences before, it compounds my worries - because I am making this comprehensive list in my mind of all the things have been difficult/scary/painful in the past and hoping that those things don't happen this time (last Thursday I was "almost 3cm" so I hoping that my body is ready to go). But I am praying that this will be my smoothest delivery yet and as long as baby and I are both healthy on the other side, who cares what happens in the middle?

I am also feeling emotional because I intend (very strongly) for this to be my last day of pregnancy. You know, ever. Ninety percent of me is SO READY for this last day. Currently I am waking up in pain all through the night, wearing sneakers all the time to decrease sciatic pain, shaking the numbness out of my hands several times a day from carpal tunnel, fighting heartburn every evening, huffing and puffing up every flight of stairs, telling my kids that I can't carry them to bed or rock them in my lap to read a story, and only owning one pair of jeans that fit. I am really tired of the physical toll that pregnancy takes on the body, that I have experienced now for three and a half years of the last 7.

However...

Today is also the last day that I will wonder with eager anticipation what a new baby will look like, the last time that I will feel those comforting kicks in my belly, the last time people will look at me with wide eyes everywhere I go and say, "How much longer?" or any number of other things that people say to a woman with a big belly. It will be the last time to post/send that first baby picture over text or Facebook with the stats, and smile with each person who offers their congratulations. The last time to hold a baby for the first time, to experience the surreal sensation that you are the person who offers her the most comfort. The last time to see your kids' faces as they meet a brand new sibling.

So I'm ready for this last day, but it's still emotional. I know that there are SO many fabulous things to look forward to in the lives of these four children - there's really no room for being melancholy when I have been so blessed. Please pray for a safe and healthy delivery for my and baby, and check back tomorrow for updates!

4 comments:

Pam said...

Good luck Emily. I am hoping that it all goes smoothly and that we can come and see you as soon as you are ready for visitors. We can't wait to meet her. I loved this post - it captures perfectly how a woman feels at the end of the pregnancy and the beginning of the new child's life. xxx

Allecia said...

Praying in Indy!

bluedaisy said...

Really excited for you---and hope everything goes smoothly. Healthy baby and Healthy mommy :)

Jen said...

I can't wait to hear all the details when she arrives. Praying everything goes well tomorrow!