If I've learned anything about parenting, it's that there are always new joys and challenges around every corner, and that whatever stage you are in will pass with time. And some stages are more difficult overall than others.
I have to be honest, I'm having a bit of a hard time right now.
I think the hardest part about this is that on paper, I think that things should be easier right now. Shortly after David was born, I remember thinking, "Sure, having a 2 year old and a newborn is tough. But just think - this time next year - I'll have a 3 year old and a toddler. That will be so much easier." But I must be doing something wrong, because I am still struggling.
Of course, it is easier in some ways. I'm no longer nursing, and I'm getting more sleep (although still not enough). But gosh, it's still hard, and I'm hoping maybe I'll feel a little better if I can just list it out here.
First of all, on the good side, David is at one of my favorite stages of development. He is so stinking cute, running around with that cute little toddle, using his "words" to make requests, and constantly surprising us with the things he understands. I could do another post on how sweet and interesting he is right now. And I love that he wants to be with me all that time, that's what makes him sweet. But the hard part is that he insists on being held for a majority of the day. So I am cooking, cleaning, helping Katy on the potty, dressing, going to the bathroom, helping Katy on her bike, playing games, watering flowers (that one's for you, Mom), all with a toddler on my hip. I have to be honest. It's super sweet, but it's exhausting.
But my even bigger challenge right now is of the 3 year year old variety. Again, a positive note is that since we started the new
sleep rules, it took a few days and she is now staying in her room at night. So that's progress. And of course, my daughter is an absolute sweetheart and I love her with all my heart. But she is driving me crazy right now. She is whiny, demanding, argumentative, bossy, and just plain rude some of the time. I feel like everything I ask her to do is answered with "But, but, but..." or "Well, well, well..." I feel embarrassed of her behavior when I am around others, thinking that they must be making judgements of my parenting. We've also started another big potty push this week, which has had big challenges. For the first 24 hours it was a literal battle to get her to even SIT on the potty. As of today, I'm happy with our progress, but she is still refusing to attempt to poop. This is extra frustrating because she was doing this just fine during our last training attempt. I know she CAN do it, she just WON'T. Ugh.
Her eating is terrible, and I almost laughed when the doctor asked me if she was eating "a variety of foods from all 4 groups?" HA! Good one. Meals feel like battles, too.
On top of these struggles, both of my kids have had fevers for over a week. Today is day 10 for Katy and day 7 for David. We've already been the doctor twice, but I think if they still have them tomorrow, I will have to take them again. Ten days of fever isn't just a virus - do you think? Another trip to the doctor seems daunting.
I'm looking at our calendar for July, and it's jam packed, starting with 2 weeks of swim lessons tomorrow. When I look at it, there are all of these fun activities planned, but things just seem so crazy, I feel like my head is spinning and the day to day is hard. We had to take the van in for some maintenance this week and we've had 4 electronic devices break since we moved. (two of them we cashed in the "2 year replacement plan")
I think another thing that is contributing to this is that with all of the recent busyness, I've been eating terribly and haven't exercised in...oh gosh...I can't put it in writing it's been so long. And even though I think pulling that aspect of my life together would help, I can't for the life of me figure out how to do it - I'm just getting by as it is.
So I hope that doesn't seem too whiny. I look at my husband and my kids and wonder how I can complain - they are so great and I am so blessed. But sometimes the day to day is tough. I know it will pass. Sitting down to write it out has helped. Thanks for listening.