Wednesday, April 22, 2009


If you've been reading here for long, you know about Katy's bizarre fears and all the drama that has presented to us over the past year and a half. Her most severe anxiety is related to strangers, especially if they a) are men, b) are different looking (in her mind), c) surprise her (i.e. enter a room unexpectedly), or d) touch her (like if she falls and they try to help her up).

I was just thinking last week about how much progress she has made. We haven't had a meltdown in a few months, and she has been able to talk herself out of most "scary" situations. All of this I've attributed to her newest level of maturity. We haven't needed to hesitate to go anywhere, and she's been comfortable even with people who come to the house.

Until yesterday. I was taking the trash out after dinner and a group of students got out of their car as asked if they could see the place for summer rental. (We have 3 groups trying to get their stuff together, but still no one has signed) So I said sure, come to the front door and I'll let you in. So here they come, in the house with no warning, there were 3 of them, and one was a guy with big hair (seriously, this is the kind of thing that scares her). So Katy picked up this hard plastic ball, throws it at one of the girls, and climbs up into my arms and starts to bawl. I was shocked! She hasn't done that in so long! We had to go outside and calm down while they looked around inside the house. (not to mention how embarrassed I was that she pelted this girl!) But even still, she was able to talk herself through it, and she kept saying, "I want them to go bye-bye. I want those other girls to come over." (The last set of girls who came to look at the place were really playful with Katy and she loved them). So by the time the group left, she was able to say goodbye and be reasonable, which is progress.

So it's better, and I do see light at the end of the tunnel. If anything, I think that incident reminded me of how much progress we have made, because 6 months ago, that kind of thing was happening on a daily basis. We couldn't go out sometimes because of it. So progress is good. Katy has been really interested in playing "Dr. Mommy" lately ever since I cleaned a cut and put a band aid on it for her. So we've been talking and pretending about going to the doctor. My goal is that by the time we go for her well visit in June, it won't be a traumatic experience. That will be the ultimate test.


I was also thinking about a problem that I'm having with David lately, and I decided to check my archives and see if Katy ever did anything similar. And lo and behold, at the exact same age, there it was. Just substitute David's name for Katy, and that he weighs 23 pounds instead of 19. So there's another reason to blog - you can comfort yourself with your own archives.


Pam said...

If a strange man with big hair came to my house I'd throw balls too. Seriously, she's doing great.
As far as David - I have always envied the way your kids wanted their mama so don't wish away their clingyness. Day care makes them a little too independent.

bluedaisy said...

Despite today's reaction, it sounds like you have made so much progress!!! Yeah Katy--and she was able to talk through and tell you what she wanted- which is better than just screaming. Maybe she is developing intuition & her reaction will make you think twice before renting to that group? Rent it to those nice girls she liked :) You are doing a great job and one set-back is okay. I don't like guys with big hair either (anymore).

Kate said...

Loved the old Katy post (substitute David)-- isn't it nice to have one under your belt? It's still hard, but you are slightly saner?

Dutcher said...

EM! I was terrified of bald men when I was Katy's age! My grandfather had to wear a hat indoors all the time! JSYK - I'm no longer afraid of bald people - haha! It's great that she can talk her way through it! Way to make progress!